Japanese election fever - Abiko style

How was your Independence Day weekend? Our Man's British, so he really doesn't give a shit, but let him tell you about his - he spent it making the following humble vid. This would be only his second attempt at making a vid - the first (right here, in case you missed it, which large numbers of people did, surprisingly) was just a test to see if he could work his iMac software to make something worthwhile (dang, failed again). Anyway, this here is his latest attempt to enter the 21st century. (Tell you what, getting the pictures to change on the beat ain't as easy as it looks):

To aid your, er, enjoyment of the video, here are some factoids:

All the video footage was shot on Saturday as Our Man rode his shopping bike to and from his Japanese lesson. Except for the lake shot near the end, which is a year old.

The pol with his hands out shortly before receiving a brown A4 size envelope stuffed with ¥10,000 notes is the bloke from New Komeito (in league with the LDP).

The graveyard fellas are the DPJ chaps.

Prime Minister Taro Aso makes no cameo appearance. But the baldy bloke and A.N. Other are LDP henchmen.

The chick is the face of hate, er, the Happiness Realization Party.

The pudgy bloke with glasses by the train tracks is Comrade No. 1.

No dumb creatures were harmed in the making of this movie. Much.

Remember when this was considered big budget?

Lifted from Our Man's first YouTube subscriber (here)!

Learning surreal Japanese

Our Man does like his splendid isolation. It's lovely not being able to understand the inane conversations that go on between folk on the bus, leaving him free to focus on more profound matters - like what funny video to put on the blog next. Recently, though, after much pestering from Our Woman, he rejoined a Saturday Japanese language class he'd been far too busy to attend last year. Yesterday was surreal. Here's what he learnt:

Giraffes have long necks.

Japanese have single eyelids while Westerners have double eyelids.

Black folk in white shirts are scary at night.

It is best to stay in the Laos international airport and get drunk through the night until morning, as it's far too dangerous to venture out at night in Nigeria.

Elephants have long noses.

Norks' July 4th gift, really you shouldn't have, but thanks anyway

Wow, that was an eventful July 4th in Greater Abiko, marked with the Norks giving their own little firework display. But bless you, even though you only let loose seven bangers, you seem to have scared Sarah Palin off her perch in Alaska.

Way to go Kim Jong Il! America owes you big time.

Indpendence Day post, sort of

Fear and loathing in the Happiness Realization Party

You'd expect the Happiness Realization Party to be a bit more cheerful. But judging from their latest YouTube campaign ad, they are not happy at all. In fact, the impartial observer might be tempted to venture that THEY ARE SEETHING HATE-MONGER LOONS who want to tool up Japan with nukes to do battle with her neighbours. Is it that thinking-impaired general spouting hate again? Plot B in a Murakami novel? Dick Cheney on tour?

Nope. This would be the political arm of the Happy Science fruitcakes who when not trying to scare the shitake out of the Japanese with fear of the synchronised swimmers of North Korea, believe that there will be war in the Middle East (Duhhh????) the Angel Gabriel will be reincarnated in Bangkok (well, stranger things have happened there) oh and, according to Wikipedia:

During the years of 2400 through 2500 Jesus will be re-incarnated. Another important event is that the extraterrestrials that visited the Earth in the 1980s return. They now have more than 10 races and we communicate with them. Unfortunately the aliens have a different “concept of property” to humans so the aliens disagree on many things.

Yeah, aliens can be like that. But could explain Bruce Willis's transformation from comedian to hard man. Hmmm. Anyway, fruitcake fringe party? Hope so, but Our Man has seen their posters around Abiko and they claim they have 10 million followers worldwide. Don't worry though, they probably use the same firm that does the Yomiuri Shimbun's circulation figures.

Without further ado, here's their entertaining video of how Armageddon would look, Japan style. Note the lack of any work that the salarymen are doing at the beginning, the shitload of missiles North Korea has and, the great use of menacing/happy music. Aerosmith, it is not.



Full story from Japan Probe, here.

Patriotism, London style

If you are an ex-pat with a blog, this fella has probably already e-mailed you, but if he hasn't here's his latest. It's quite good.

Japanese Pepsi, Coke? Give the voters a beer

Hammers and nails. Hammers and nails. You know, the adage that in Japan you have to hammer the nail that sticks out. This apparently refers to the desirability of conforming. Well, that does not apply to politics in Japan (or anything else, Our Man is beginning to think). While Our Man hammers on (geddditt?) about the LDP (the bad guys) and the DPJ (the good guys, remember?), actually most Japanese quite sensibly couldn't give a toss about party affiliation, having figured out all by themselves that their higher-ups are a bunch of thieving, self-serving bastards. You want proof? At least 70% of voters pay no attention to party labels*. They vote on matters of whether the candidate seems like a trustworthy chap (or chapette). How come? In a traditionally one-party state, you get used to looking beneath the label for any spark of life or signs of humanity.

By this measure, it's looking pretty bad for Taro Aso, prime minister and his equally old-school DPJ nemesis Hatoyama (the one with the wavy hair).

It's like being asked to choose between Pepsi and Coke, when all we really want is a beer.

*No link, Our Man made this up.

Pic lifted from here.

Happy Canada Day, Captain

Lifted from here.

Speaking of TV journalists being full of it...

Our Man's heart's not really in this swearing thing. In fact he's got bored with it already. The problem with trying to shock you folk is Our Man's got to be pretty damned creative given that there's a whole lot more extreme stuff just a click away for those who like to get upset at being offended. A bigger problem for Our Man is that what's sassy, rebellious and fresh from the mouths of spotty blogo-youths comes off as sounding, well, pathetic from a middle aged ex-pat. So no more c-words on this blog. But Our Man reserves the right to call wankers wankers and pricks pricks.

Which reminds Our Man - J-politics. Sure, everyone reckons the LDP tapping up the former comedian Hideo Higashikokubaru to join the LDP front bench in Tokyo is a big joke, especially as he dissed the party and gave a counter offer of "I'll join your sodding party if you make me PM!" The joke was then on the LDP. But Our Man reckons (and when is his judgment faulty?) the LDP jokers really are thinking about it. And so they should.

He'd bloody well win.