Do battle with the zealots, armed only with cups and T-shirts

We interrupt this stream of bat's piss to bring you a message from Our Sponsors. That is, if Our Man cost anything, and if anyone ever paid anything to read this nonsense. Have faith, lost sheep, it'll never happen.

Another great Japan Times vox pop

Weather forecast: Dry all over

Sure it's old, but it still amuses Our Man.



Did Our Man ever tell you how his first job in papers used to be to fake weather reports? Now, he never believes anything he reads in the paper, except the horoscopes of course.

Will the real DPJ please stand up?

OK, so Our Man is starting to sound like some rabid right-wing reactionary (don't worry too much gentle readers, he can't write more than 10 sentences or so before he gets tired of the sound of his own voice, so he'll never turn into Ampontin).

In recent days, you may have noticed Our Man slagging the Earl of Bridgestone for losing track of all his yen; the DPJ for promising open government with one hand, then sticking the other in the petty cash box; giving only a luke-warm defence of Our Saviour Obama's bowing, and then slagging Our Lord and Saviour for trying to end the War in Afghanistan by, er, expanding it. (Kissinger, how we're missin ya).

But there is another interpretation: The DPJ is getting the bad press because they are actually hitting their mark. MTC puts the case for the defence here - that their show trials slashing bumbling bureacrats' bloated budgets prove the DPJ are doing what they were elected to do. James at Japan Probe may be in two minds about the budget cuts, but if anyone wants to do something about the chronic overspending that is about to cripple Japan's future, this is job 1.

Sure, the press is crying a croc over cuts to scientists' Phd projects (boo hoo), and Our Man was going to search for more attempts to slag the DPJ in the establishment Daily Gomiuri, but frankly their turgid website made Our Man long for the speed of his old ZX Spectrum, though he did find this story - apparently the LDP (remember them?) are considering re-branding themselves.

Then it struck Our Man - show trials, Obama kissing emperor ass, the establishment press looking for Hatoyama dirt, the LDP identity crisis - shit -

---the DPJ really must be doing something right---

But Obama's still way wrong on Afghanistan. It will be the bitch that kills the lady he really loves. Pic lifted from here.

Welcome return

Nice find, Reverend, but our Man prefers this:

Finish the job?

Expect 34,000 more to join the fight for the Karzai.

Happy Thanksgiving, America.

Tedious post about website and such

Just so you know, if you ever wonder where on earth Our Man came up with his latest erroneous nonsense, you can check out his sources on Delicious whenever your heart desires. The link is also in the sidebar to the left above his head. In other exciting site news, former blog of the week winner Insular, Extraordinary's new blog, Archduke! or something, is in its rightful place in the Field Agents section on the right. Sorry to be so late posting it, the blog's hyper cool layout had fooled Our Man into thinking it wasn't ready yet. Our Man's getting old...

Pardon us: Hatoyama and the DPJ's first full-length talkie

Here's a post that shows up Our Man's complete lack of knowledge (agaiiiin?) about what he ostensibly writes about - Japanese politics. Well, see here, the Mainichi Daily News (pedants will note that "mainichi" means daily, so really the virtual newspaper's name is tautologically "The Daily Daily News", which is just silly silly, but Our Man says: damn you pedants, you've ruined this sentence) has a little of the continuing saga of the Japanese Prime Minister's minion's missing millions:

PM funding scandal: false records covered up 300 million yen in donations

Our Man invites you to read the story. Looking bad for the PM? You're darn tootin'. Because if he's found guilty he could face a fine of ¥500,000!!!!! (That's about $5,000). Yikes, where's the heir of the Bridgestone fortune gonna find that kind of money? Oh wait, he could dip into the secret cabinet fund here.

BTW, did anyone catch the puff piece in the Japan Times about Alistair Campbell, Tony Blair's spin bowler, praising the DPJ's PR? Perhaps he should remind Hatoyama of Blair's winning slogan: Tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime.

Maybe Hatoyama should turn himself in now, eh readers, saving us all the tedious manhunt?

Pic lifted from here.

Real is not real, unreality is. Really

Tuesday. Bollocks. Quick. Write something about books. Maybe even Japan-related. Got it. Try here. (Summary: Unreality is more real than reality - something Our Man figured out a looooooooooong time ago).

One year of Our Man: The celebrations go on (and on)

So, the one-year* birthday celebrations continue throughout this fair land and as far afield as, er, Eastern Europe as folk misspell porn actresses' names and end up with this sorry post here. Allow Our Man a little leeway in spending a post reminiscing, not so much because one year of Our Man in Abiko is worthy of much consideration, but more because he's got sod all else to write about.

In the space of 12 short months** Our Man has gone from trying to explain Japanese culture and politics, to filming folk walking backwards and pretending they are going forwards; from arguing against LDP tyranny to, er, arguing against DPJ tyranny; and from drawing amateurish cartoons to, well, continuing to draw amateurish cartoons.

*One year of OMIA is equivalent to what you can learn from 12 minutes spent here.

** or 10 months, metric, whichever comes first.

Almost missed it...

It was exactly one year ago today that Our Man in Abiko was born.

Don't time fly when you're having fun? Perhaps Our Man should scour the archives for something cool and representative to post, but frankly he's far too busy. Got any favourite posts? Fond memories of Our Man, or interesting tales of how you discovered him, how he has changed your life, or stuff he's done that really, really sucked? A problem shared is a problem halved, you know.

DPJ scandals vs LDP scandals

Apologies to the older folk (like Our Man) who can't see the little writing. Might help if you click on the image. Hey, it's new ground for Our Man, give him time to make it work, pleeeeease.

Chewing the fat on whales with the locals

Our Man had a lovely time fraternising with the natives last night, deep undercover in an Abiko izakaya (the closest western equivalent would be a pub/tapas bar). While there, he noticed whale was on the menu, so duly ordered a dish of raw whale tongue, purely for scientific research reasons.

He can confirm:

1) It tasted nothing like chicken.

2) It didn't taste fishy - more like how you might imagine a raw tongue to taste.

3) Well, imagine spam with the texture of beef jerky and throw in an aftertaste of roadkill, and you are still only halfway to explaining how unappetising a dish it was.

No other bits of the whale were available for further testing. Phew.

For more dated in-depth philosophical discussion on whaling, er, go somewhere else. Our Man did write this (a while ago) though.

Pic lifted from here.

You should only hate people you know (and other additions to the Gospel according to St. Ourmani)

This is probably old hat, but just discovered these gems on the twinterweb the other night: A BBC comedy series that, get this, pokes fun at religions in an enlightened way.

This was great:

This was even better:

But this next un gets bonus points (despite the soundtrack being out sync) for having the balls to take the piss out of moderates and Muslim fundamentalists for a change:

Everyone in a coke-fuelled 24/7 news cycle? Nahhh, folks would never believe it

Crikey. It's been three posts in a row with no mention of Japan once. Our Man better rectify that or all his Twitter followers with names like GeoffinJapan and Mangajerry will be getting antsy. Japan, Japan, Japan, Japan. There. Happy? BTW, Glad to see D. at Japan without the sugar is writing again.

When Our Man is short of an idea or two, he links to others (see above) or digs deep and, er, writes shallowly about himself. This post is one of the latter ones.

Did you know (or care?) that Our Man came up with an outline a couple of years ago for that cult novel he always imagined he had in him? It followed a cynical hack (!) who lived in a world in the near future in which news was instant and to stay ahead of the game, he wired himself into a sort of half-biological internet and had to take designer drugs to handle the speed of the news cycle. There was also a flimsy celeb murder plot thrown in and gratuitous sex every third chapter or so to keep you reading.

Our Man got busy blogging and then, bloody Twitter happened, and the radically askew scenario suddenly became a dull reality for most folk. Apart from the murder. And gratuitous sex, sadly.

Ho hum. Back to the typewriter.

Yes, yes, it's not not strictly speaking Tuesday. So sue me OK?